| hais.. my mood sucks like fuck.. people pissing me off.. me pissing people off.. hais..nana.. im fucking disappointed with some peeps.. i tot i really could count on you guys..but..nvm.. things are moving so fast. my hands are shaking. i try to squeeze them, try to make it stop. but now my fists are shaking. and this shaking is working its way through me. it must look like i am having a fit. i want to let the scream out. but i think if i start. i wont stop. i cant believe this. no one else can her. i am screaming inside my head. i'm excited to leave, to start something new. but it scares me. and what sacres me even more is that things are supposed to get harder than this? i'm sitting here. looking out the window. at the cars speeding by. thinking. i cant believe it's finally over. saying goodbye. i dont think i can handle it. if he kisses me. it will only make things harder. it will only make me cry. to kiss him. to feel the emptiness. i wonder if he feels it. i wonder if he even cares. i cant hear what the teacher is saying. all i can hear is my voice in my head. telling that things are not right. that i am not right. i am trapped in this classroom. it feels like something. is trying to push its way out of me. out of my chest. i feel like everyone can see it bubbling up. like they're waiting for me to burst. to boil over. -extracted from MAI. i feel the same way.. |
